WHO NEEDS THE HOLIDAYS!
I am looking for inspiration. Actually, as a male this is probably better translated as a desperate and pitiful cry for Help!
The children are now on holiday. And, being Spain, this means summer holidays that last for a terrifying and horribly sustained three months – an eternity for working parents and probably even worse for those with no compelling reason to escape their house frequently for long periods
Of course, the problem is entertaining children, in any meaningful sense, day after day, whilst retaining even the vaguest signs of sanity or a working rythmn. We have faced this trauma for the past five years with absolutely no signs of having cracked the problem. Indeed, we are now at our wits end and finally ready to place our children into the nearest adoption centre.
To be fair, all starts well with the children simply delighted at not having to go to school and with us charmed by having mornings that are not heart-attack inducing last minute rushes to the school gates. However, this halcyon period lasts only a few days before being replaced by a constant bickering that is enough to break the iron placidity of a Buddhist priest. Meanwhile, a trail of destruction is left throughout the house that turns our property into something that would have shocked Ghangis Khan himself.
And then there are the late mornings when the children get up half way through the day. This offends my most deeply ingrained (damn it!) Protestant instincts to the core. However, the Calvanism so valued by my ancestors vanishes rapidly when I am given the choice between the children being active and destroying the place and them being comatose. At least their long mornings give me a few moments of peace before they badger me for the computer and argue furiously over what is on television.
So, what am I to do? All and any suggestions are welcome - with any adoption proposals to be sent directly to the Editor by the quickest means possible... Copyright Nick Snelling (www.nicholassnelling.com) author of three books on Spain including ‘How to Move Safely to Spain’ (www.movesafelytospain.com)
ENDS
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